...and "love your neighbor as yourself"...

...and "love your neighbor as yourself"... Matthew 19:19

This scripture has been on my mind a lot lately.  In the past few months I have gone through changes both physically and emotionally.  The physical has been very obvious-over 1/3 of my face has been covered in a blotchy, itchy, dry, red rash around my eyes and lips.  I start my day washing my face, covering it in moisturizer, followed by Vaseline, followed by emu oil, followed by 2 different types of concealer. This rash is a weird result of steroid cream my dermatologist prescribed me mixed with an allergy to nail polish.  My friends and family comfort me by telling me they can't even notice it.  It doesn't even look that bad.  They wouldn't have seen it if I didn't tell them about it.  It doesn't matter, because I'm beautiful.  The encouragement goes in one ear and out the other.  I believe it for a minute, but the minute I look at my bare face I know that I  resemble a red eyed raccoon and I know that I am not beautiful, and I know that I hate it.  I hate my face.  I'm ashamed of it and embarrassed by it.  I keep my hair down every day to cover it up as much as I can. It's truly depressing me.

I know I'm not the only girl out there who looks at herself and doesn't love what she sees.  The movie "Mean Girls" shows us a group of teenagers who stand in a mirror every day and point out every little problem with themselves. They pick themselves apart and find imperfections that no one but themselves can see.  And how could they not feel less than perfect when their mother's are getting surgery to enhance themselves. We are taught that perfection is beauty.  It's almost as if our body can't be perfect without makeup or surgery. No one hating their bodies wants to hear that they're beautiful.  That they're made in God's image, that their husbands and boyfriends and mother's think they're beautiful and that should be enough, because obviously it's not. And the reason it's not is because we don't really love ourselves. And why not?  Why do we hate our ourselves? Why do we constantly compare ourselves with others? Why are we not satisfied with who we are, why must we fix this and that before we can love ourselves?
I used to not like being short, and then I found jeans that fit.

Then I stopped liking my curves.

Before I can stop liking my curves, I became a raccoon.

There is always going to be something "wrong" with us. 

God told us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. 

I have read that scripture a million times but I overlooked the biggest part.

"...love yourself."

If I am supposed to love my neighbor as I love myself, I think I need to start loving myself, and loving the me God created me to be. 

We might not like how we look.  We might not like how we're mean to people, or how we react to situations.  It's easy to dislike yourself.  But you and I are God's creation.  We are just as beautiful as a beautiful sunset created by God.  I'm on a journey of learning to love myself, look past my failures and my problems and my physical imperfections.  I want to love myself the way I love my neighbors.  And when I start to love myself without judgement, I will be able to love my neighbor without judgement. 

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Time Out: A Place To Reflect is a place for Christian woman dealing with every day life can come read, share, discuss, and take time out and reflect.  Our opinions and personal stories are backed up with Biblical truths.  We invite you to join in discussions with us, share your experiences, and conect with other young Christian woman in our online community as we explore the topics of heath, relationships, personal struggles, personal accomplishments, and more. We want to challenge young woman to be open, honest, proud of who they are, and grow closer to Christ.  New topics will be posted weekly, and all are invited to share in the discussion.  Feel free to contact us at time.out.reflect@gmail.com.